Phat Teacher

Today, I looked in the mirror before I dashed off for yet another day of workshop…Day 3. I dabbed a little concealer on the new zit that had formed overnight on the tip of my nose. (By the way, at what age do you quit getting zits? I thought that was a bonus of getting out of your teens! Ugh!) Anyway, I thought I looked pretty presentable…for me!

I dashed into the meeting and sat next to a young teacher I had never seen before. I introduced myself and asked about her. She squared her shoulders and turned to face me…head on. Dang if she wasn’t the perkiest little thing I’ve ever seen. You know the type: cute voice, perfect hair, and no fat anywhere . She looked like she could actually run the length of her body without stopping because she was out of breath or to get a drink! (I’m not  necessarily talking water, here!)   Well, she practically bounced as she introduced herself.

“Oh, I’m Linette. I just graduated from college, and I am sooooo excited to be here. This is my first teaching job! Can you tell?” (No kidding! We were sitting in the front of the room where the Newbies and the late arrivals sit.)

I watched her for a second or two, then tossed back my Geritol and washed it down with a swig of Ensure. I licked the chocolate off my lips and said, “Great! Come see me if you need help. I know the ins and outs of this school.”

She clapped twice…something like a cross between a cheerleader and a Paula Abdul clap…and told me, “Thank you so much! My mom told me to find a grandmotherly-type person when I started. They are always so helpful!”

I smiled (or rather grimaced) at her and turned away. I prayed for the meeting to start…quick!

Grandmotherly-type! When did that happen? I swear, I was just a perky little thing not that long ago! What happened?

Anyway, the Cash for Clunkers program went so well that they are planning on expanding it to get rid of old appliances. Maybe it’s time they hold a Cash for Clunkers for teachers! I think I qualify. No, after the Grandmotherly statement…I KNOW I qualify!

So, here’s to the perky, young teachers, everywhere…and to those “Grandmotherly-Types” who mentor them along! The drink that I have in my hand right now…is for you!

Mary…the Phat Fat Teacher