Real Teachers…
So, here we are with 19 days of school in. (Wow! It seems like I’ve gotten up at 5:00 a lot more days than that!) Of course, look at the bright side: we only have 154 more to go.
Anyway, in those 19 days, we have experienced a full moon, a serious drop in barometric pressure, and several “tech meetings” at the local pub…and every one of those makes the kids go crazy. The first two are for obvious reasons, but the last one just doesn’t seem to have a good reason. It’s a well known fact that the volume of their voices somehow seems to correlate with the intensity of your headache. (I unboxed a 500-count bottle of Advil and a 1000-count bottle of Tylenol, today. I also opened a 5,000,000-count bag of M&Ms. I should be good for the year!)
Anyway, at this point, even the new teachers have muddled through the honeymoon period and are headed directly into the fire. Therefore, they are now REAL TEACHERS. Even perky little Linette from workshop week has lost a bit of perk! She’s getting wrinkles…and she’s earned every one of them! She’s a real teacher, now!
And so, that being said, the following is my take on what makes you a REAL TEACHER.
REAL TEACHERS…
1) Wear clothing that repels fluids!
2) Ingest mega doses of caffeine daily…pumped intravenously!
3) Use school appropriate language…when in earshot of children.
4) Eat an entire meal…and use the bathroom…in 13.7 minutes or less.
5) Can tell there’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
6) Understands the statement “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!”
7) Can fend off the attacks of angry parents without a club!
8) Own stock in Advil, Tylenol, or Anheuser Busch.
9) Shop at the “Lost and Found”.
10) Play well with others!
So, congratulations! We’ve all made it through the first month of school. Just think, we only have another 8.5 to go! But if you take out prep time, vacation days, sick days, workshop days, and trips to the coffee shop…that only leaves about 8 months! That’s doable! 
Just make them good ones.
Mary…the Phat/Fat Teacher
Mary –
Great blog –absolutely brings me back to the “why” of this profession we have chosen, or that has chosen us!!! On another note…I need the delete key almost every time I teach clay…Try saying “scratch and attach” over and over to Middle Schooler’s….or “Scoring” (a method used to attach two pieces of clay together). If only I could find other words that describe the process so much better the laughter would end….but then again, maybe it’s better this way!
As always, thanks for sharing!